The journey continues...

We've been in Rome for two weeks now, so I suppose it's time for a blog. First-off, I would be lying to say that this has been an easy journey for me, but with God's grace it has been a blessing. Each day I ask His will be done, and each day I get to lift up my suffering and pain to be with His. God is good.

Enough on that now. My last blog was a day-by-day update, so that one will be a subject-by-subject update. First impressions of Rome? Let's go!

School

Before coming to Rome, people told me that while here there isn't really homework and your entire grade for a class comes from your final. Perhaps this was true for them, but it is certainly not true to spring 2016 Bernardians.

Dr. Lev and Dr. Heaney have given us some pretty fair chunks of reading to do throughout the week (to put it lightly). I struggle to know when we have homework and am definitely behind. I'm trying to decide if it's worth trying to catch up or if I should just start were we left off. How important is this reading homework? Aka, how much do our quizzes, tests, and papers depend on it?

I love studying in groups, but people have only done that a few times here. Reading is easier for me when we're doing it as a team. Lizzy has taught me how to have my computer read to me, so that helps some. I am blessed to have such a wonderful, thoughtful roommate.

Food

The food here is basically what we think of as "Italian food" back in America. Most meals consist of pasta or pizza. For breakfast we have continental breakfasts at Bernardi. I usually get some cereal, yogurt, a piece of fruit, a pastry, and a roll with honey. I find it is helpful to scavenge some food from breakfast for lunch. Otherwise, lunch can get expensive; plus, I've found that panini aren't very filling for me.

I'm getting by ok, but with all the walking we do, I could use more food. Group cooking is the best, though I haven't done a ton of that yet. We made a good size dinner for everyone yesterday in honor of Tasha's birthday. That was fun. Tasha is precious, and I loved her expression when she walked into our surprise party.

Food-wise, we get most of our food at the grocery store down the street. I have tried gelato twice and learned from my second experience that getting my own gelato is just way too much food/sugar for me. Gelato has twice the sugar that ice cream does. It didn't leave me feeling that great though I must say it was filling.

Household Life

I love my Bernardi family. That doesn't mean that no one ever annoys me, but these people are great nonetheless! The seminarians are obliged to say the liturgy of the hour throughout the day, so it's nice to join them for many of those. Community dinners are special. I look forward to our first "official" community dinner next Wednesday.

Living in a household lets you learn a lot about yourself. I've discovered many of my own faults through others. For example, I long for attention, and I can see many other Bernardians calling out for attention too. We're a really boisterous bunch.

So much has been going through my head and heart lately, and I find myself pretty reserved around my fellow Bernardians. That said, I appreciate their presence and those moments when I can tell people are really looking out for me.

Extra Adventures

We've gone on a few adventures while at Bernardi. There were, of course, the guided ones to see Padre Pio and the Colloseum, etc.

On Friday the seminarians went on a trip to Venice (which sounded amazing). Most of us lay folk went to spend the day with the Lay Center. I expected our outing to take about two hours but it took five and a half. Because of this, it ended up being rather stressful for me, being out and about when I just wanted to get back to Bernardi to do my laundry and homework. I learned from this experience that I am more of a home-girl than I thought.

Schedule

My sleep schedule has been "on fleek!" God is so good. Back home in America, I always have trouble falling asleep and getting up. I end up going to bed at midnight and not falling asleep until 4am and then I nap a lot during the day. Basically, it's an insomniac disaster.

God has been WONDERFUL in this regard here. I usually get to bed between nine o'clock and ten thirty and get in a good nights rest before the next day. God has been so good. I usually fall asleep within minutes once my head hits my pillow. I think part of the reason I sleep so well is because days are hectic. Thankfully, I made it through the days without naps. I've learned to prioritize a good sleep schedule over homework. If I went with my American-schedule, I would be up until 2am reading for class, and everything would be an avalanche from there due to sleep problems.

I have to be careful not to loose this great sleep schedule by going out late with people. I went out with a group last night and discovered that, after a certain hour, I should probably just stick to Bernardi. When I go on outings I expect them to take an hour or two. Other people enjoy more spontaneity which is fine but can be stressful for me when I know I have stuff to do (like hold into this sleep schedule).

Taking care of myself and my needs takes self-control in cooperation with the grace of God.

Lent

Oh my, guys! It's Lent! Lent is pretty cool. I've been offering up a daily Divine Mercy Chaplet or Rosary. I have also given up interrupting people in conversation (something I have often found myself guilty of) and trying to dominate conversations (my attention-seeker self tends to get pretty desperate when the conversation doesn't include me as a central part).

These are wonderful offerings. They are helping me to grow as a person. Then again, it's almost too easy for me. Going into silence is comfortable for me (though I do tend to long for attention from others). I have found lately that when people actually do talk to me I'm both honored and caught off guard. If I'm forgetting how to socialize with people, that's not good.

That said, the reason for my silence is that I usually evaluate my words before I speak them, and if the motive of my words would be to get attention or to put someone else down, I tend to not speak them. This results in my rarely speaking to people. I've been offering up the loneliness of this. God's grace has been good to me. As long as good is coming from this, I can continue to offer it up and accept God and Mother Mary's embrace in my loneliness.

There we go. That's a shorter post than usual. Hope things are going well for everyone back home. Your prays are ABSOLUTELY appreciated!

And we've been here 4 days, and so much has happened...

I was going to wait a week to post my next blog (just for the sake of note being a blogging-manaic), but I've been encouraged to post a new blog about our first days at Bernardi. So much has happened it's ridiculous. No wonder I am exhausted to the point of tears. But at the same time my heart is singing for joy. Bernardi is a pretty cool experience.

One of the reasons I really wanted to go to Bernardi was to come to learn about myself. I am someone who sticks to a routine, and I usually try not to test my stanima in trying new things because I know I have a breaking point. Yet, as I am entering into adulthood, I want to get to know myself better, and what better way is there than to step into a life that is strictly structured by others, experience myself in a whole different culture, and come to know so many of my favorite people not just as friends but as family?

Day 1 (& tangents)

So much has happened since we arrived here that it's hard to know where to begin. Our first full day at Bernardi involved a lot of Orientation. Orientation consisted in sitting in the dining room listening to our director describe Bernardi life to us and provide us with guidelines for our safety in Rome. It was super interesting stuff, and I enjoyed it. At the same time sitting on our butt for hours can be exhausting, so the breaks we took were MUCH appreciated. On one of our breaks I decided to check out the terrace. It may sound like I'm just saying this, but my first glimpse of the terrace left me thinking that heaven must be something like it. The night before when we arrived at Bernardi, I thought it was cool but didn't quite have the surroundings or beautiful views that I expected. The terrace proved that all wrong. I was in absolute awe gazing over the river to the churches on hills and the beautiful sky. The river view is my favorite. The whole terrace is beautiful with beautiful flowers and lots of nice tables and chairs to sit on.

I enjoyed watching traffic from the terrace as well. Traffic in Italy is pretty much horrifying and amazing (though not as horrifying as in Peru). Cars basically go where they want at the speed they want and they part where they want. Budging in traffic is normal, especially for the cyclists. I was greatly amused at the sight of a man who kept on stepping into the middle of traffic at the light offering to wash people's windshields on the spot. There are pretty creative ways to make money here in Rome I guess.

On Monday evening we took our first walk to St. Peter's Basilica. It's a pretty cool place, need I say? The walk there isn't bad. It was nighttime with clear skies and we go to walk around outside of the Vatican admiring the view, the statues, the nativity, etc. Afterwards we went out to eat, and I tried my first carbonara. To be honest (don't hate me for this), I'm not a big fan. The carbonara I've had at Bernardi since then has been better, but there was way too much sauce in the carbonara I tried that first night. If people say "small servings" are a thing in Italy compared to America, well... not at this restaurant at least. They actually brought the food out on a skillet, and I couldn't finish half. (P.S. To go boxes are not a thing in Italy.) I'll randomly throw in here, we had evening prayer on the room at maybe 10:30pm.

I should mention how much I love my roommate. She played one of her favorite Christian songs for me our first night at Bernardi. I love being looked out for. It's also really nice that we have our own bathroom. It's small, but we don't have to worry about working around more people's bathroom schedules than the two of us.

Day 2 (& tangents)

If I remember correctly, Tuesday was our first walk to the Angelicum. We went in the Kitchen Groups we've been assigned. Kyle was my group's leader, and it was a cool walk getting there. We got to meet and listen to Dr. Dominic. He is HILARIOUS, and I am thankful for that especially considering the amount of time we spent sitting in that classroom. We also met Dr. Lev who is also a hoot and an amazing women. I'm thankful that the people here are so engaging, because even with their being this way I am always ready to burst out of class as soon as it's over. Sitting in a classroom just tires me out, I guess. Or maybe that's just in Italy.

I love all of the walking we're doing, but it gets exhausting. My feet keep on asking me, "WHAT do you think you're doing? When did you sign up for this marathon?" Nevertheless, I don't think I will have to worry much about weight gain here.

Tuesday was our first night at the supermarket and in the kitchen. I finally got soap so that I don't have to shower with water alone. Unfortunately, I think I'm allergic to the shampoo. (Oh well. These things happen. Bummer.) I hope to find some that works better for me somewhere along the way.

Back to the kitchen. I split a pizza with Liz M. and Tasha but was still terribly hungry and was so blessed as to be allowed to eat with a great group of people: Kyle, John, Lizzy, Therese, Patrick, Jordan? It was the best food I've had in Italy yet. Home cooking at Bernardi tends to please my tastebuds more than eating out (thus far at least). That night a bunch of us ate gelato on the terrace.

Day 3 (& tangents)

Wednesday was a big day. Everyday feels like a big day. It's so exhausting, but also cool. We walked to the Vatican for a private audience with the Pope. My highlight from that day was when I first saw cute little Pope Francis ride out in his Pope Mobile waving. HE'S REAL, GUYS! FLESH AND BLOOD! We have such a cute Pope.

The private audience was exciting yet a bit tiring. I'm trying not to be a fidgety child. I must get used to sitting still for long periods of time for the sake of adulthood. We heard the readings in a bajillion languages, and it was pretty exciting whenever the English speakers came out. I'm not going to touch on this a lot, but there was circus that performed for the Pope that was pretty embarrassing. They weren't wearing enough clothes, and I don't think the Pope really enjoyed it. His facial expression was the only good thing about the performance.

After the Papal audience I went off with Cassie, Michael, Miguel, Josh, and Caroline. I got some delicious pizza (my first pizza in Rome). I was expecting it to be a lot thinner than it was from what I had heard and was happy with the reality. We ran into Kyle and Alex while on our search for the "bagno" and stopped at a cool store with tons of beautiful mosaic paintings and cute souvenirs. I will certainly be going back there later on in the semester. I had to control myself and abstain for buying anything this early on, because I could have easily bought out half the store.

Before our next activity we got some nice pictures with the Swiss guards. Then we went on a scavi tour (I think that's what it's called?)...maybe you can tell I'm too tired to look things up right now. That would require climbing out of bed and crossing my room (heaven forbid). It was a neat tour. The thought that we were actually under St. Peter's was amazing, and we got to gaze at St. Peter's bones from a distance. What strikes me is that I got to see the bones of someone who actually knew Jesus here on earth. How cool the experiences of St. Peter must have been! WOW!

After the tour I was feeling pretty emotionally and physically exhausted. I felt like something must be wrong with me that I had just walked into St. Peter's and wanted to leave, but exhaustion does that to you. I know I can go back another time. I was glad to learn that MK wanted to head back to Bernardi too, so we set out and ran into Therese, Liz M., Josh, and Caroline along the way.

Speaking of learning about myself, I have confirmed that, yes, I am very much a "home girl" (even in Rome). While I love adventure, I am also so drawn to just feeling safe and at rest here at Bernardi. Whenever we arrive home at Bernardi it is such a relief after our exhausting adventures. But I wouldn't give up our adventures, because we're actually stepping out and doing some living and I love that! I just have to find my limits, because while I am a "home girl," I am also someone who starts out every semester or adventure trying to do EVERYTHING and realizing that I can only handle so much.

Back to Wednesday. When we returned to Bernardi I took a MUCH NEEDED hour and a half nap. At home I have to worry about taking naps during the day, because I won't be tired enough at night. Thankfully, being tired enough at night have NOT been a problem here. Whereas at home I can take three to five hours to fall asleep once I hit the sack, I have been blessed to always be decently tired and to fall asleep within minutes after my head finally hits the pillow. The nap I took that day had nothing but positive affects on me. It kept me alive. (That's how exhausted I've been.)

After Mass, we had a pleasant Bernardi dinner. I enjoyed sitting at a table with Risa, Therese, Kyle, Alex, and Jordan. Reed and David have already made a rough draft of a letter for the Pope, but we've been thinking of great points to add to our letter (requesting to meet him) and are making serious plans for how to get the letter to him.

Day 4 (& tangent)

Thursday isn't even over, but a lot has happened. I am learning that for healths sake, I can't be a seminarian. (Ok, there are probably reasons than that why I can't be a seminarian, haha). But what I'm saying is that I spent the first few days at Bernardi trying to attend as many Jesus-events as possible: getting up early for Holy Hour, staying up late for Holy Hour, making it to every Mass. This is all good stuff, but sometimes what Jesus wants from me (as my spiritual director tells me) is to take care of myself and this includes my body. I am learning that the only way I can remain sane is if I say "no" to these things from time to time and take a nap or listen to Taylor Swift or blog.

We got up at 7:30am (a ton of us ladies seemed to have problems with our alarms not going off this morning) and had a good continental breakfast. I'm learning to eat as much as I can for breakfast, because a lot is going to be required of you before your next meal is terms of walking, sitting, concentrating, socializing...

I took some time to pack by backpack, so I headed out with the last group - Lizzy, David, Alex, and Michael - and we took the Metro. I like the Metro! I would take it again! It's easy, so long as you know where you're going (which my fellow travelers did know).

We got to the Angelicum with time to spare, so I filled up my water bottle and headed in to class. After our first day, I'm very excited for our class with Dr. Heaney! The class has a lot of Philosophy to it, and I love love love Philosophy. I've already learned a lot about the relationship between the body and the soul and the afterlife in one class period, and I am excited to learn more from this cool and funny teacher.

And a stop at the Angelicum's bookshop, I went off with Lizzy, Patrick, Jordan, Ryan, Alex, and Josh V. We checked out a bunch of churches and... highlight of my day thus far = I got to feed some pigeons off of my feet!!! :) We stopped at a panini shop where the shipowner was incredibly nice. After this venture we found the building for our Italian classes and wandered off to one more church with some other folks. My this point I needed a break so spent some time sitting and talking to Jesus in a pew before wandering about the church a bit.

So hey. We finally had Italian class. We're split into two groups, and I like my teacher (Valentina) and my classmates! I'm really bad at learning languages, so it's kind of nice being in the smaller group and I am thankful for the patience of my classmates. We're moving at a fast pace in order to become at least to-an-extent fluent in Italian by the end of the semester.

After class was the incredibly tiring walk back to Bernardi. In the future, I will take the Metro back from Italian class. I thought I wanted to walk, but every corner we came to happened to not be Bernardi and by the time we reached Bernardi I was hardly even able to walk anymore, I was so tired.

Due to my tiredness I blogged for a bit while dinner was being prepared. (It's part of my self-care job. I would have loved to help cook, but I needed to maintain some sanity and have some me-time.) Dinner was great: chicken, beans, and all that good stuff. Way to go Josh, Caroline, and Liz M.!

The seminarians and a few other people went to Mass. I would have liked to go, but for sanity's sake I stayed at Bernardi, and I'm proud of myself for making this decision to take care of my self. Trying to do everything is tempting, but sanity is more important and a "sane Sheila" will bring God more joy, I'm sure.

I did a tiny bit of dish cleaning and carrot cleaning before coming up here to blog. I love the atmosphere of our crazy kitchen. It's especially fun when it's a kitchen full of girl listening to "Whoops, I did it again" and "Stacey's Mom". Well, it's only 8:30pm. The night is young, so I'll be off and back to blogging later. I'm looking forward to the weekend to regain my sanity and organize the assignments that I need to complete. Next week we will be on our normal schedule, and I can start figuring out the best way to manage my time amidst classes, studies, Jesus-time, and socializing.

I'll stop yammering now. That's for reading this crazy long post. If you've come this far, I'm impressed. God love you!